I Need an Arm




Doug Borski

I Need an Arm is a song featured on the season 2 episode Handlin' the Bike.


I'm mangled horribly,
Lost an arm, and a family.
My job, I can't go back,
Wrong way on a one arm track.
Can't rock, can't wank, can't mop,
My search will never stop.

Sweet holy shit I need an arm, so,
Me and lefty will search high and low, so let's go.
'Cuz you know if you're out there, I will find you.
'Cuz my throbbin' stump just won't do.
Now I'm achin' and crampin', 'cuz lefty's been workin' for two.

Oh baby girl,
If I get ya back, it's gonna be manicure city!
I'm talkin' expensive hand creams, cuticle rubs,
And my solemn promise to be a one hand man!
I've travelled here and there,
Looked goddamn everywhere.
My arm I cannot find,
My dick shrunk back inside.
Sweet holy shit I need an arm, so,
Me and lefty did search high and low, but oh no.
This ain't the way that it should be, you see,
One lonely goddamn amputee, that's me.
I'm dyin' for that day,
When I don't have to say,

Why'd you have to leave me, when all I wanted to do was love you!
Now I gots a whole in my heart the size of a fist!
Literally, 'cuz you punched it out on yo' way outta my life!
Now I'm on my knees, dreamin' of the day when I can clap again,
Give myself a high-five, flip the double bird, do shadow puppets fo' Sol and Ricky!

Why righty, why'd you have to leave yo' sister and me?!
Why, WHYYYYYY!?!?!?!??!?